David Pleat’s Champions League Chalkboard #1

In the first of a two-part series, four-time Tottenham manager David Pleat analyses his former club’s tactics on the Champions League stage.

“Young Boys Berne baffled their Champions League qualifier opponents Tottenham by replacing Spurs midfielder Wilson Palacios with a life-sized chocolate replica.

“The 5ft 10ins mocha doppelganger caused chaos amongst the chocoholics in the Spurs defence, allowing the Swiss outfit to play straight through the salivating back line and sail into a decisive 3-0 lead.

“Harry Redknapp eventually dealt with the Swiss trickery via an ingenious counter-move. Serial snacker Tom Huddlestone was sent on to gobble up the delicious Lindt chocolate statue while the real Palacios snuck on the field behind the departing Benoit Assou-Ekotto’s flamboyant hair arrangement.

“Huddlestone’s sudden sugar rush saw him gain a foothold in the midfield and Spurs found the precision and poise they had previously been lacking. Two vital away goals swung the tie back in their favour though Huddlestone unfortunately misses the return game with stomach cramps, prompting Redknapp into a desperate loan move for the untested James Corden.”