Parental discretion is advised

WARNING: The following blog contains a swear word; if you are offended by profanity and enjoy the gentle antics of Mr. Tumble on Something Special...we strongly advise you stop here, you ****ing lightweight.

Swearing at football...should it carry the death penalty? Isn’t a game 90 minutes where all our problems seem insignificant in the face of our heroes struggle for three points? Sometimes the bottled up emotion pours out when you are trailing 0-1 to Mick McCarthy’s cloggers. Wolverhampton, where rape is legal, play with the subtlety of a kiddie fiddler on a bouncy castle. Last week Wanderers decapitated poor Bobby Zamora and yesterday it was our turn to face 'Mick The Kick’s’ boys.

So with another 0-1 defeat to a very ordinary Wolves side on the cards, I swore in frustration (more than a few times) at the Wolves fans and some outraged ‘fan’ complained to a steward anonymously. I wish I hadn’t lost my composure, they were the ridiculous rantings of a pissed-off supporter, but there were no fatalities. What made matters worse is the ‘fan’ wildly exaggerated my crime, saying I swear non-stop every week (apparently when Spurs are winning), presumably to get me into trouble. I don’t have a problem with swearing, but then I don’t spend my days making jam for the local Women’s Institute.

What I said wouldn’t have drawn comment at an away game, but in the fake sanitized home atmosphere in the eyes of this ‘supporter’ it equates to choking a meerkat to death on children’s television. The perversity was a few minutes later the entire end was singing '1-0 and you fucked it up'. ‘Supergrass’ was presumably softly weeping in his seat.

Bizarrely, you can still racially abuse Emmanuel Adebayor at White Hart Lane - as long as you don’t include a swear word. I have never sung that song and never will. I don’t agree with it, but I certainly wouldn’t complain to a steward. I have better things to do with my life than trying to shop other supporters.

A football stadium is not a place for the easily offended. Neither is life.