Daniel Levy has made his most important signing of the January transfer window after purchasing Chris Hughton’s original clipboard for display in the new stadium’s museum (or its adjoining Sainsbury's). The celebrated clipboard will shortly be inducted into the Tottenham Hall Of Fame. “It was involved in more goals than Steffen Freund,” protested a club spokesman.
The deal for this cherished piece of club folklore was struck at half-time as Hughton’s Canaries ran yellow and green rings around a flatfooted Tottenham before a Gareth Bale wonder goal sealed a late, but ultimately welcome point.
“The clipboard is a big part of Tottenham’s talent light history in the Nineties and Noughties when teams like Middlesborough used to knock three past us in 30 minutes and no-one booed at half-time,” continued the club spokesman. “The erudite scribblings on that legendary stationery accessory almost singlehandedly kept the score in single figures.
“When the wild barnet of Gerry Francis grew out of control, Chris used its firm edges to comb that uncontrollable bird’s nest into a side parting. It was also present when Chris accompanied David Pleat on one of his regular shopping trips for Farah trousers or a touch of polished brass.”
The clipboard, which Levy swapped for Heurelho Gomes’ least favourite child, came with reams of Hughton’s original notes which provide a fascinating insight into Spurs' tactics in the Premier League’s formative years. Observations include:
“Chip the ball onto the crest of Ruel Fox’s head and it rolls into dangerous positions. Do not play to feet.”
“A can of Red Stripe takes the edge of Chris Armstrong’s brownies.”
“Placing a live stoat in Gregorz Rasiak’s shorts may encourage a more mobile performance”
“I wish we’d buy a bloody striker.”
How times change.