Sunday, October 21, 2012

Kyle Walker and the Zen Geezer Movement

My old boxing pal Dominic Negus once told me, ‘If you spent your time knocking out the wankers in life you’d never do anything else’. This inspiring moment of ‘Zen Geezerism’ immediately entered my head in the fallout of Spurs’ 2-4 reverse against a clinical Chelsea.

After likeable full-back Kyle Walker’s fallow form continued against a sharp Blues’ outfit, packed with a trio of talented and highly-paid midfielders, a few faceless keyboard warriors were almost inevitably directing abuse at the rookie defender from behind the shield of a laptop screen. Walker duly deleted his Twitter account which in the best case scenario may concentrate his mind on more important matters like defending.

But footballers, we must remember, are not infallible, computerised drones. They have problems, too. FIFA13 has fooled us. The sheer brilliance of Lionel Messi makes it seem as if players can perform flawlessly without error, but they are people dealing with the same mind-bending domestic problems as the rest of us. Walker has been poor since the tail end of last season, for whatever reason, but he’s talented, young and will surely find form in time. He will certainly play more effectively and positively with our encouragement rather than guileless cyber-derision or mindless stick from recent lobotomy patients in the stands.

Gareth Bale’s decision to miss the game to attend the birth of his child was also met with criticism. It was a personal choice and one most people will respect. Bale does appear to be a rare British footballer in a long-term and loving relationship so his reasons were nothing but sincere. The great news is Gareth’s good lady will not be dropping a 7lb wing wizard on the day of the Europa League and FA Cup finals. If someone can put a contract out on Charlie Adam, the Welshman might actually play at the scenes of our double trophy triumphs. Don’t wake me up from that dream!

An unfortunate complication of ‘baby mama drama’ meant I was bizarrely at home with the miniature doctor rather than beating my chest like a wildman at White Hart Lane and therefore I (thankfully) missed this league fixture for the first time in 14 years. Given the reserve heavy line-up, a draw seemed the best case scenario. It was not to be.

The starting XI sent shivers down my spine. Tom Huddlestone lacks the mobility to influence a game against clever, mobile, high quality midfielders like Hazard, Mata and Oscar and his decision to grow his hair until he scores means he will probably end the season looking like Captain Caveman. The midfield was the key battlefield in this fixture and shorn of the drive of Dembele, bite of Parker and electricity of Bale, Spurs often looked second best despite fashioning a creditable number of chances.

But we should remember that Chelsea top the table for a reason and, given the inequality of the first half, the response in the second was worth appreciating. A blank chequebook is an almost unbeatable opponent at the best of times. Spurs gutted it out in the trenches and made a game of it and pressing for a late equaliser always leaves a team vulnerable at the back.

The AVB revolution is a work in progress. We must greet the downs with resolve and not a whining sense of entitlement. Foundations are being laid for something progressive and potentially special. Let’s show true support and not turn off our loyalty like a tap after a single setback.

We remain fifth and North London’s premier team. That ain’t too shabby. Ask any zen geezer.

***For those who missed it, I was a guest on the stellar Fighting Cock podcast this week. You can listen to me losing the plot (standard behaviour!) at

It’s a fantastic show created and driven by people with a pure love of Spurs at heart. Listen and love.


Anonymous said...

First class read mate !COYS.

'Lust Doctor' said...

Thanks Anon. Appreciate the kind support.

Anonymous said...

I think the team is improving game by game. I don't think all the pieces are in place but I'm very pleased with the pieces that are.

Part of me thinks Walker should be a little thicker-skinned, but I completely agree that he should be supported and must know that we want him to succeed and will be in his corner as long as he keeps working hard. Bale wasn't Bale from the gecko, it takes time.

'Lust Doctor' said...

Cheers Anon II. Still some tinkering needed. I feel we need striker competition with Adebayor off to the ACN in January. Kaboul's return will be like a new signing.

3BPs said...

I've been concerned about Walker's indecision when he has the ball and doesn't know what to do with it, desperately looking around while the enemy re-groups. It costs us chances.

However, he does show flashes of promise at other times and should improve with experience. AVB must think he's the best we've got or he'd be playing someone else.

That said, like you, I am totally fed up with people who think it's a good idea to undermine the team, whether it's negative behaviour at the ground or cowardly attacks via social media. Not sure what we can do about it though.

'Lust Doctor' said...

Cheers 3BPs. As discussed with esteemed 'Tottenham On My Mind' blogger Alan Fisher, it is a culture of unrealistic expectations that now permeates our game. I saw Gascoigne have some shockers and stints of poor form for Spurs. It happens to the best of players.

Anonymous said...

Great piece. People are idiots. It's one thing to say 'Oh for fucks sake!', in the heat of the moment when someone made a mistake, but to then take your limited intellectual capacity, reflect on things for a while after the game and think: the best way to support my club must be to go on twitter and racially abuse this young player who quite clearly never gives less than 100% on the pitch. He even went diving over the advertising boards in this game in a way I was wondering if he would be OK to come back out. The same player scored the deciding goal against the Gooners last season with a sensational strike and he nearly equalised in this very game with a similiar strike FFS. The strike against the Gooners he celebrated by blowing kisses to his mum in the stands. How endearing is that? As a comparison Cristiano Ronaldo points to some weird symbol he's shaved into his barnet when he scores. Does anyone remember what kind of really crap, talentless and sometimes lazy players who used to play for us? Aso I'd really like to see these keyboard warriors face up to Kyle in person, the bloke really looks like somebody I would cut a lot of slack for the sake of my own well-being, even if he wouldn't seem like such a nice chap.

Also Mata, Hazard and Oscar were all way more expensive than our most expensive signing ever. Don't even need to mention Torres. And people expect us to be every bit as good as their individual players with some of our reserve players.

Hope your "baby mama drama" got a happier resolution than the game and it's aftermath. Sorry for the rant.


'Lust Doctor' said...

Thanks for the kind and articulate comments, Jax. I think when people make personal, abusive comments it says far more about their own situation than the person they are attacking. They wouldn't say such things face-to-face.

Anonymous said...

Yes, you're right. The most abuse I've ever gotten was from the most fucked up person I've ever met. Wouldn't want to change places with him in a million years. To me a rule a thumb is, if you can't say it to someone's face, don't say it. Then again I'm a believer in communication, since language is what creates the world we experience. I doubt the genius who ran on the pitch and clocked Chris Kirkland, then wrote on facebook he thought he "got away with it", has thought very long and hard on these issues.

Such a shame we couldn't put our best team on the pitch. Very much doubt Mikel could handle Dembele or Bale. All the best!


'Lust Doctor' said...

Cheers Jax. I'm on my way to Slovenia for the Maribor game tomorrow via Munich and Graz. Nothing quite like a Spurs away trip in Europe!!

shuban said...

Very good piece... Kyle Walker gives his all but their are faults that cannot be ignored... TBF poor clearances by Gallas and Sando having to track three runners by himself at times, while only Lennon offered any effective movement to give Mikel and Ramires cause for concern

"drive of Dembele, bite of Parker and electricity of Bale,A blank chequebook is an almost unbeatable opponent at the best of times"

Very insightful...who do you think we COULD bring in to remedy the balance

'Lust Doctor' said...

Cheers Shuban. Appreciate the kind comments. I think we should be fine when key personnel return and fortunately not every opponent is a Chelsea. We do need a striker and a wing option to cover any Bale or Lennon absences.