Monday, November 15, 2010

Where is the Lust Doctor?

The man with boy band hair and psycho shades is unbelievably busy at the moment. He freed that couple held by Somalian pirates with his own moolah in a murky Mogadishu coffee house. He's also moonlighting as Andy Carroll's legal representation and, in his rare spare moments, is working wonders as Wagner's singing coach. But your Lust Doctor is able to take a brief interlude from his manic lifestyle to bring you these latest headlines.

Chicken eater crocked

So Tom Huddlestone is out for three months. Great news for Loughton KFC, bad news for the rest of us. However, Jermaine Jenas' lung-busting performance versus Big Sam's 'Blackandblueburn' is a cause for genuine encouragement. The fully fit JJ is, somewhat surprisingly, a man reborn this season...the 'marmite' midfielder has never looked so consistent in Spurs colours. The arrival of new fall guy Bill Gallas has surely taken a weight off his colt-like shoulders. Jenas was the MOTM on Saturday so Hudd's loss may not be as crippling as some doom merchants believe.

Special privileges

Roman Pavlyuchenko bewilderingly missed an open goal against Blackandblueburn and moments later the crowd were chanting his name. The enigmatic Russkie was then (somehow) psyched out by ex-Spurs loon Pascal Chimbonda and sliced a penalty haplessly wide. Still Roman never lost the support of the lillywhite masses...which is as it should be for all Spurs players. Yet had 'Two metre' Peter Crouch blundered in similar circumstances it is unlikely the lanky loverman would have experienced equivalent man-love. Football, like life, isn’t fair.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rap Master King High

It is because Crouch can not kick a ball unless it is the air. Let him volley it and he's fine. Give him the ball on the deck and he scuffs it everytime :) The Pav by contrast actually puts some welly into his efforts - actually shoots and always looks more of a goal threat. And thats not demeaning all the other good work that Crouch does for the team.

Cheers homey