Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Council geezer (overheard in West Hampstead barbershop)

‘You would not believe the drugs over there, man,’ riffs the council geezer. 'They got everything, coke, speed, meth, puff, crack, pills. I had a bit of everything over there, mate.’
‘How did you meet this Bulgarian....drug dealer?’
‘I saw a guy in a D&G t-shirt, but underneath the logo was printed 'I AM A DRUG DEALER’ in big ****ing letters. I was there pissing myself and this geezer come over to me and asked why I was laughing and I said your t-shirt is too much, mate.’
‘Actually, I am drug dealer,’ he told me. ‘The t-shirt never lies’. Serious. So he hooked me up for the whole time I was there with the bird in Sofia and I took everything that was on offer, man. It was a five star hotel but they hated the English people over there so we got a lift to Turkey for 500 Euros off this other geezer. No flights or anything so we had to take it. But [indecipherable place in Turkey] was the spot, mate. Mad weed over there, yeah?’
The council geezer’s mate leaves a tenner to pay for his pal’s haircut and they leave; the barber shrugs his heavy-set shoulders: ‘If he’d taken all those drugs he’d be dead, man.’

3 comments:

Col said...

Geezer was trippin'

Anonymous said...

He got a grade one all over, right?

Anonymous said...

Impressed by the dealers disambiguation - a D&G Tee usually say 'I'm a tosser'.