Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A five-step plan to keeping your man

1) Do not try to change him (you will find him unattractive should you ever succeed).

2) Remember most conversations take place at chest level (stuff your bra with bubble wrap and start popping if you need to grab his attention).

3) Leave the toilet seat upright at all times; for speed of use and in case of urination from distance (a necessity if he is watching football ‘between rooms’).

4) One pair of shoes looks like another. Just buy a pair and leave Hobbs/Nine West/Kurt Geiger before the dawn of the next ice age.

5) Don’t invite him to a Winehouse after-party. Ask if he would like any of Amy’s crack and he will say no.

1 comment:

Mr Winehouse said...

5) I feel the same way, but don't tell the missus.