Bonjour, mes amis, ce’st William Gallas! These days without a Tottenham game are dragging, non? Still four days until we meet ‘les Cottagers’ so enough time for one more crank call to a former Arse-nal ass-ociate! I bring you Willie’s international break wind-ups - Part Deux!
Le set-up: We all know Arsene Wenger cannot resist a French teenager. Your Willie pretends to be working ladies man Franck Ribery in a classic case of crossed wires*.
“Arsene, I have a hot French teenager for you.”
“Ah, bonjour Franck. What position?”
“Dominique is great at the back. Also good up top. And on either side. Goes down easily.
“Perfect for Arsenal.”
“Oh definitely. I can testify to that myself.”
“The best I’ve ever come across. I know Benzema agrees. ”
“Who is the owner?”
“Ah, the Ligue 1 side?”
“No, I was just thinking aloud. Breast.”
“Er okay. Franck, what fee is involved?”
“800 Euros. Pay as you play. I guarantee Bendtner will score every week with Dominique.”
Le merk!: French call girl Dominique Six signs for Arsenal and shows immediate promise up front alongside Robin Van Persie. She develops an incredible burst of pace due to continually running away from the forward Dutchman. Six is clever in the box, but rarely finishes. Her season is eventually ended by Nigel De Jong’s lunging tackle. Apart from Zoo Magazine's 'Sexiest Player of the Season' award, Arsenal finish trophyless.
*Actual conversation/events did not take place.